Some urn stories are about long lives, deep connections, and decades of memories. Others are smaller, shorter—but no less meaningful. This is the story of Squid.
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Squid was a budgerigar. Not just any budgie—he was dazzling. His feathers shimmered with turquoise, deep indigos, navy, aqua, and warm greens, all crowned with a golden head and wings that seemed to glow in the sun. A living jewel with a sparkle in his eye.

​He was brought into a vet clinic in Sydney after being attacked by a gang of noisy miners. A compassionate stranger had rescued him, and his next chapter began with the family of the Vetinarian who treated him.
The vet’s youngest son, took to calm, gentle Squid straight away. And Squid? Well, he simply won them all over. He sat quietly in their hands, nestled into necks, and let himself be kissed like he’d been doing it his whole life. He was missing feathers at the tail and neck from the attack, but as they started to regrow, he seemed to relish every head scratch and cuddle. He’d nuzzle in, eyes soft, and fall asleep on warm chests and bellies like he’d finally found home.

During the day he took great pleasure in chirping at the wild birds while he sat on the kitchen window sil. Every night after dinner, Squid would join the family on the couch. A proper part of the crew. He’d perch quietly for their evening TV series, soaking up the cuddles.

No one really remembers how he got his name. “Squid” doesn’t make much sense on paper, but it suited him—cheeky, curious, and utterly unique. It just suited him.

And then things changed.

They noticed a lump in his crop and it quickly became clear something wasn’t right. Still, no one was willing to give up on him. They called in a bird specialist, hoping it might be something operable. Maybe a blockage, maybe a fixable little thing. They tried.

But it wasn’t fixable.
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The mass was a tumour. Inoperable. Kind hands and hopeful hearts had done everything they could. So they made the hardest choice—the kind that comes from love. They let him go gently, wrapped in warmth and care, surrounded by the people who had come to love him so deeply in just 11 short days.

And that’s where I came in.

I was asked to make a tiny urn. A resting place for a tiny creature who’d left behind an enormous hole in everyone’s heart. We chose a photo of him showing his cheeky side and designed the urn around that with the picture adorning the lid.

Sometimes, the urns I make are for beloved dogs, wise old cats, or cherished humans with long stories. And sometimes, they’re for a little bird named Squid who, in less than two weeks, managed to wiggle his way into the hearts of an entire family.

It’s not about how long you have. It’s about how loved you are.
And Squid? He was deeply, impossibly loved.
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Fly high, sweet boy.

​Author
Rae Delai is an Australian small business owner of White Lily Urns and specializes in custom artisan ceramic funerary art. She has 30 plus years experience as a critical care and palliative care nurse which means she is very comfortable discussing all aspects of death, dying and grief.

Some urns are simple. Some are grand. And some… are teapots.
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When Katie’s family contacted me, they had one request: a pink teapot urn. Not just any teapot, but one that captured their daughter’s love for tea, her doodles of funky cats, and her habit of leaving sweet notes for her mum. It had to be something that felt like her—not just a vessel, but a warm embrace of who she was.
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Katie had passed away overseas in her early 20s after a long battle with severe anorexia. A cruel disease, anorexia robs its victims of so much, but it could never take away the love her family had for her. And if there was one thing they remembered most, it was how much she loved sharing a cup of tea with them. So, a teapot it would be.

​I started by covering the urn in every single doodle her family sent me—funky cats galore! But as we refined the design, we settled on a simpler, more elegant tribute: one cat alone on one side, and a trio of cats together on the other and a bit of gold trim. A quiet, meaningful reflection of togetherness and remembrance.

Now, the practical side of things—teapots usually have a spout, which is a bit of a problem when the goal is to keep the contents inside. I carefully plugged it up, just in case, although I always recommend placing ashes in a plastic bag inside the urn as an extra precaution. Turns out, that was the right call because Katie’s Dad  just could not bring himself to put her inside a plastic bag. 

​And because a teapot is for sharing warmth, I designed the lid to hold a tealight candle. That way, anytime they wanted to, they could light a little flame for Katie and remember her with love.

When the urn was finished, I sent the urn off  home to Sydney. Later, her mother messaged me to say thank you and extended a warm invitation—if I was ever in Sydney, I was welcome to stop by for a cup of tea. And just like that, another member was added to my White Lily Urn family.
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I always say that making urns isn’t just about crafting something beautiful—it’s about honouring a life and the love that remains. Katie’s teapot is a special one, a gentle reminder that love can be found in the smallest of moments, like a warm cup of tea shared with those we hold dear.

And if there’s one thing this urn has taught me, it’s that urns that don't look like urns can bring comfort in unexpected ways—just like love, and just like tea.

Author
Rae Delai is an Australian small business owner of White Lily Urns and specializes in custom artisan ceramic funerary art. She has 30 plus years experience as a critical care and palliative care nurse which means she is very comfortable discussing all aspects of death, dying and grief.

​When I first created the Unicorn Urn, I envisioned it as a delicate and magical resting place for the ashes of little girls who had adored unicorns. The first designs, which I called Fairy Unicorns, had soft pink and purple manes and tails, their golden horns adding a touch of ethereal elegance. Later, I introduced Mermaid Unicorns, with oceanic hues of blue and green flowing through their manes and tails, capturing a different kind of whimsy.
I thought they would be the perfect tribute for children who had cherished these mythical creatures in life. But as it turns out, unicorns—and grief—don’t always follow predictable paths.

A Husband’s Revenge (With Love)
Over the past five years, I’ve only ever sold one Unicorn Urn to a young girl’s family, a beautiful seven-year-old from Townsville. That was what I expected when I created them. What I didn’t expect was that the very first one I ever sold would end up in Melbourne, bought by a grown man in his 40s—with the sad tale, yet with typically Australian humour.
This gentleman had been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, and with limited time left, he and his young family—his wife and their eight-year-old daughter—were preparing for the inevitable. Then, in a cruel and unexpected twist, his wife suddenly passed away in her sleep. Devastated, he was left grappling with both his own mortality and the unimaginable loss of his partner.
In his grief, he reached out to me and explained his choice of urn. You see, his wife had always jokingly threatened that if he dared to leave her first, she’d put his ashes in a unicorn urn. So, since she left him first, he figured it was only fair to return the favour. He bought the Fairy Unicorn for her, a tender, mischievous nod to their love and shared humour.
I like to think she would have approved.

​A Son’s Tribute to His Magical Mother
Another time, I received an order from a young man in the USA. He was looking for an urn for his mother’s ashes and, after some searching, stumbled upon the Fairy Unicorn.
His mother had been a lifelong unicorn lover, the kind who believed in magic and carried it with her everywhere she went. She had always dyed her hair in vibrant shades of pink, blue, and purple—a real-life Fairy Unicorn, in a way. For him, there was no better tribute than an urn that reflected her spirit and colorful personality. It was a choice that made sense to him immediately, and knowing her, I imagine she would have been delighted.

​A Mother’s Love for Her Beautiful Boy
More recently, a lovely mother from Cairns chose a Fairy Unicorn Urn for her son—a young man who had lived proudly and vibrantly as his authentic self. When he passed away unexpectedly, she wanted to honor him in a way that celebrated who he was: joyful, unique, and unapologetically himself.
She created a stunning memorial altar in her home, placing the unicorn urn atop a custom marble-glazed plinth. Next to it, a smaller matching plinth held his photograph, a heartfelt display of love and remembrance. If you visit my portfolio page, you can see how beautifully it all came together.

​A Unicorn for Every Unique Soul
I never imagined that my whimsical urns would become such a fitting tribute for such a diverse group of people. But in a way, it makes perfect sense. Unicorns are symbols of individuality, wonder, and magic—qualities that don’t belong to any one group but to all of us who embrace the extraordinary.
Because of this, I’ve since developed a larger plinth to house the ashes of a full-grown adult. Now, anyone—child or adult—who has lived a colorful, magical life can choose to rest in a Unicorn Urn. ​And honestly, I think that’s pretty wonderful.

​As we began discussing the design, I learned more about Lily’s legacy. In her memory, Lily’s parents had started a charity, the Lilybug Foundation, to raise money for premature and critically ill babies in New South Wales. Lily’s story and the incredible work of her foundation can be found at lilybugfoundation.com.au.
When it came to designing the urn, her parents wanted something unique. Together, we decided that incorporating Lily’s tiny handprint and footprint into the design would make the urn truly unique and a powerful tribute to her short but impactful life.
We selected a blank Carosella urn, which has smooth, flat sides, perfect for the addition of photographic prints. This gave us a canvas to work with—a space to tell Lily’s story in a way that was both beautiful and deeply personal.
The process was a true collaboration. Lily’s siblings contributed heartfelt messages for their little sister and added their ideas to the design. It became a family effort, filled with love, memories, and creativity. Working around everyone’s busy lives, we took our time to ensure the urn was just right. Over six months, we slowly but surely brought Lily’s urn to life.
The finished piece was more than an urn—it was a work of art, a story, and a symbol of the love Lily’s family will always hold for her. The handprints and footprints captured her presence, while the thoughtful messages from her siblings and the gentle design celebrated her legacy.
Creating this urn reminded me why I do what I do. It’s not just about making a vessel; it’s about creating something that holds love, memories, and healing.
Through her family’s dedication, Lily’s memory continues to touch lives, both through the Lilybug Foundation and in the hearts of everyone who loved her. I feel privileged to have been a part of this journey, and I hope that Lily’s urn brings her family a sense of peace and connection.

As 2025 dawns, it brings with it an opportunity for fresh starts, reflection, and resolution. For many, this means decluttering their homes, refocusing on health, or reconnecting with loved ones. But what about the emotional and spiritual weight we carry? This year, consider a deeply meaningful resolution: finally deciding on a permanent resting place for the ashes of a loved one or pet that have been sitting around the house for months, perhaps even years.
I am constantly amazed by the number of people who tell me they are in this situation .

There are numerous reasons for why we put off dealing with cremains. Life just gets busy or we were so overwhelmed with dealing with all the details surrounding the passing of a loved one that it was easy to put off the final stage. 

Sometimes making the decision about their final resting place can feel like an unbearable responsibility when the pain of loss is so fresh. Perhaps the departed did not make their final wishes known and it is now up to us to try our best to guess what they would have wanted.

​While these reasons are valid, they often leave us carrying the emotional weight of unfinished grief. The good news? Taking this step doesn’t have to be daunting—it can be a deeply healing and empowering process.

The Benefits of Finalizing a Resting Place

1. Honoring Their Memory: Choosing a beautiful urn or scattering their ashes in a meaningful place is a way to honor the love and connection you shared. It creates a lasting tribute that reflects their unique spirit.
2. Creating Closure: Finalizing this decision provides a sense of resolution. It’s not about “moving on” from grief but finding a way to carry it with peace.
3. A Fresh Start for the New Year: Letting go of unfinished emotional tasks can free you to embrace the year ahead with a lighter heart. It’s a symbolic way of making space for new beginnings.
4. Strengthening Connections: If the ashes belong to a loved one or pet shared by your family, this process can bring everyone together. It’s an opportunity to share stories, memories, and perhaps even heal old tensions.

Taking the First Step
If you’ve been putting off this decision, New Year’s Day is the perfect moment to act. Here’s how you can get started:

1. Reflect on Their Memory: Think about what they loved. Were they drawn to nature? Did they have a favourite color, style, or place? These reflections can guide you toward choosing an urn or ceremony that feels deeply personal.
2. Explore Your Options: Today’s urns are as diverse as the lives they commemorate. From handcrafted ceramics to biodegradable options for scattering, there’s something for every preference. Don’t rush—take time to find the right fit. I am more than happy to help you with this process.
3. Talk to Family: If the decision involves others, initiate a conversation. Share your thoughts and listen to theirs. This can be a meaningful way to connect and collaborate.
4. Set a Date: Once you’ve chosen an urn or plan, set a date for the scattering or placement. Mark it on the calendar, and treat it as a sacred moment.
5. Give Yourself Grace: This process can stir up emotions. Allow yourself to feel them and know that it’s all part of the journey toward healing.

Moving Into the New Year with Peace
Starting the New Year by honoring the memory of your loved one or pet is a powerful act of love and self-care. It’s a resolution that not only honors the past but also frees you to step into the future with a lighter, more open heart.

So, as you sit down to write your resolutions, consider making this meaningful choice part of your list. This year, let’s transform a lingering task into a heartfelt tribute and a path to peace together.
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Happy New Year, and may 2025 bring healing, joy, and renewal for you and your family. I hope to hear from you soon.

Author
Rae Delai is an Australian small business owner of White Lily Urns and specializes in custom artisan ceramic funerary art. She has 30 plus years experience as a critical care and palliative care nurse which means she is very comfortable discussing all aspects of death, dying and grief.

Q1: What's the difference between a personalized and a custom cremation urn?
Great question. A personalized cremation urn is one that you can make uniquely yours by adding personal touches like names, dates, or special symbols to a pre-designed urn. It's like adding your own flair to a ready-made piece like this one .
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On the other hand, a custom cremation urn is entirely crafted from scratch according to your specific design and size requirements. It's like having a one-of-a-kind piece of art made just for your loved one.
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Q2: How can I personalize a cremation urn?
Personalizing a cremation urn usually involves choosing from a selection of pre-made urns and adding custom engravings or decorations. You can have your loved one's name, birthdate, or a meaningful quote etched onto the urn to make it uniquely theirs.


Q3: What's the process for getting a custom cremation urn?
​Going custom means you get to be the creative genius! You'll work closely with a ceramic artist like Rae to discuss your ideas, preferences, and any special requirements. From there, Rae will work her magic to bring your vision to life, from shape and color to design and size.  The process is explained fully in a dedicated article.


Q4: Which option is better for me, personalized or custom?
It really depends on your preferences and what you're looking for. If you want something quick and meaningful, personalizing a pre-made urn is a great choice. But if you have a specific vision in mind or want a truly unique tribute, going custom is the way to go.


Q5: How long does it take to get a personalized or custom cremation urn?
Generally, personalizing a pre-made urn can be done more quickly, usually within 2 weeks. Custom urns, being unique creations, might take a bit longer, typically several weeks to a couple of months, depending on the complexity of the design.

Q6: Can I see examples of personalized and custom cremation urns?
A: Absolutely, browse through the Portfolio page to see some of the urns created.
Remember, whether it's personalizing or going custom, it's all about creating a meaningful and lasting tribute to your loved one. 

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Author
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Rae Delai is an Australian small business owner of White Lily Urns and specializes in custom artisan ceramic funerary art. She has 30 plus years experience as a critical care and palliative care nurse which means she is very comfortable discussing all aspects of death, dying and grief.

Here are some tips for navigating this challenging path, and moving forward with strength, resilience, and hope.

Create a Lasting Memorial
It can be healing to remember the cherished moments and qualities of your loved one. Finding meaningful ways to commemorate them can help keep their memory alive.
One option is to consider a memorial urn - a beautiful vessel that holds their ashes. Many individuals find comfort in having their partner's ashes in a special place, as it provides a sense of connection.
Memorial plaques or park benches dedicated to their memory could also serve as a serene spot for reflection, giving you and others a peaceful space to remember and honour their life.

Reminiscence
By remembering and reminiscing about your partner, you're not just celebrating their life, but also acknowledging the impact they had on shaping your own. Collect mementos like photographs, letters, and keepsakes that remind you of the times you shared.
Consider creating a scrapbook or digital album that tells the story of your life together, preserving the moments that defined your relationship.

Seek Support as you Navigate Through your Grief
Grieving is a deeply personal journey, and there's no right or wrong way to experience it.
Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise, whether it's sadness, anger, or even moments of joy as you recall happier moments.
Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family who understand your pain and are willing to offer a listening ear or a helping hand. Seeing a counsellor experienced in loss may also be of benefit.

Plan your Future: Take Practical Steps Forward
Through the emotional turmoil, it's crucial to also address the practical aspects of rebuilding your life. Financial considerations are a significant part of this process.
Review your financial situation and consult with a financial adviser to create a clear picture of your situation. This will likely involve:
·        assessing any joint accounts or insurance policies;
·        updating legal documents like wills or beneficiaries;
·        and managing any shared debts or assets.

You may also need to make some big decisions on where to live. Your current home may still suit, or do you want to be closer to family? Perhaps you are keen to look into downsizing, or are ready to set off on a long-term travel adventure? Loneliness following the loss of your partner may also lead you to consider moving into a retirement village?

Rediscover your Identity
Losing a partner can lead to a shift in your sense of identity. As you rebuild, take the time to rediscover who you are as an individual. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it's pursuing a hobby, joining social groups, or volunteering for causes that resonate with you.
By embracing these new experiences, you not only honour your partner's memory but also carve out a space for yourself in this changed world.

Foster Hope for the Future
While the pain may always linger to some degree, time has a way of softening its edges. As you continue to navigate this path, remember that it's possible to find happiness and meaning again. Be patient with yourself and allow the journey of healing to unfold at its own pace.
Rebuilding life after the loss of a partner is a process that demands both emotional introspection and practical considerations. By finding ways to honour their memory, embracing your emotions, and planning for your future, you're taking crucial steps toward healing and growth.

Through the pain and the memories, you have the power to shape a future that is uniquely yours, while still carrying the love and lessons shared with your partner in your heart.

​We live in a diverse multicultural society with a huge mix of traditional, cultural, religious, and contemporary ideas on what a modern funeral service should look like. The needs of the family and last wishes of the departed should be sensitively taken into consideration when you decide to go to the funeral. Read the funeral notice carefully and note the important requests the family have documented.

​There is no need to let the family or Funeral Director know that you will be attending unless you have been personally invited to a private service. Do not attend if the funeral notice states the service is private and you have not been invited.

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• Act as naturally as you can. There are no magic words that will make the grieving feel any better so just be genuine and respectful.
• You may approach the family and offer a hug or handshake and maybe a word, there may be quite a line up.
• Often some form of wake will take place after the service where refreshments will be served. Depending on how the family are feeling these gatherings can last many hours. If you attend, the family are entitled to know who you are and your relationship to the departed.
• Match the tone of the family without judgement. Most of the time a sombre atmosphere prevails although I have attended the funeral of my best friend’s Father who was “an old Bastard” and the tone was almost joyous.

​Making the effort to attend a funeral speaks volumes. Most families want to see a packed venue and see it as a sign of support and respect for their family. Everyone knows it is not easy and your attendance is always greatly appreciated. Prepare yourself for what to expect, follow these tips and if in doubt you can always call the Funeral Director to ask for guidance.

​Author
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Rae Delai is an Australian small business owner of White Lily Urns and specializes in custom artisan ceramic funerary art. She has 30 plus years experience as a critical care and palliative care nurse which means she is very comfortable discussing all aspects of death, dying and grief.

 Releasing live birds is a memorable way to celebrate the freedom of students at a graduation ceremony, whether it's a university degree or College diploma. The joy that accomplishment brings is amplified by the flapping of wings and upward trajectories as the birds set off on their new life journey.
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Dove tattoo meanings can vary with individuals but people usually want to symbolise peace, harmony and love. Often though, a strong connection with a higher power for guidance and protection can be the reason a permanent inked image is sought after.

In Christianity, doves are associated with Mother Mary and her divine qualities like purity, devotion, care as well as peace. And don't forget how important doves are in the Noah's Ark story.

In the context of attending a funeral, a lovely ceramic mourning dove with perhaps a gold plaque expressing sympathy is a respectful token to give the grieving family. This tradition has faded somewhat in recent years which would make using doves for a funeral very memorable and special. The family can then choose to take the dove home for to add to a memorial alter or special place where they like to remember the departed or place on the grave or inside a mausoleum. 

Whenever doves are used, these lovely birds always convey respect and strength of character  as well as gentleness and love. What a lovely way for art to speak for you when words cannot express our emotions as poignantly. 

A candle flame sooths our soul. The soft light helps to restore calm and relax the mind. The science behind this tells us the low light is is sent straight to the brain for processing and because of our thousands upon thousands of years of our human association with the protection of fire, we feel emotionally and physically safe and the healing process can begin.  A candle keepsake urn is not only a beautiful reminder of your love, it is a healing aid for those of us left behind.